Thursday, January 21, 2010
Well, Bean, you have been in existence (in one form or another) for 3 months now, so I guess it's high time we started documenting. It is funny how this process goes, because it's not like you just "pop!" into existence the moment sperm and egg meet. (Regardless of what some anti-choicers and the Vatican may say... but we'll leave abortion politics aside for now.) It's more like you... become. Every day, as you developed in the last 3 months, you became more real. You had a lot of hurdles to overcome-- a lot of things that could have gone wrong and made you... not be. But, from everything we can tell, you've got everything you need, all in the right spots, and now you've just got to grow and get ready to live outside of me! We think you're pretty rad already. In the next weeks you'll be big enough that I can feel you moving around in there. It is so strange to remember that I have an independent proto-person inside my body.
Your dad and I still are having a hard time believing that you're real and everything that your coming into our lives will mean. But we've seen you twice now on ultrasound, and we heard your heartbeat clip-clopping along yesterday. (Really-- it sounded just like a horse trotting!) The last ultrasound was so cool. Your face finally looked more human than alien, and you were moving and kicking! It was amazing. From what I read, you are now 3 times bigger(!) now than you were then-- you're actually the size of a lemon, and your brain is starting to develop all its creases and folds. It has been so fun for your dad and I to follow along with your development in the fetal growth book we bought. (He is very strict about not wanting to look ahead, but sometimes I sneak peeks when he's not in the room.) The next ultrasound will be very cool, too, because we will find out if you are a boy or girl. I think you are a boy, and your dad and Grandma Joan think you are a girl. We will be ecstatic either way.
We are so excited to meet you and show you all about how cool the world is. We have so many goals for ourselves as parents. We want to raise you to be a confident, independent-minded person, and we want to give you the freedom to be whoever you want to be. But we know there is so much bad in the world, too. We have been working for years to prepare for you, little Bean, and to orient our lives in a way that will allow us to raise you in the most healthy, wholesome and fulfilling ways we know. Sometimes it feels like a long uphill climb, but knowing you are coming into our lives has made me all the more aware of how important it is to live a good and ethical life. I'll be writing some future posts about things that have influenced our thinking on this, and maybe someday it will help you understand why we chose all the things we did.
We can't wait to see what you have to teach us, too. So keep up the good work, little Bean! We'll check back in on you soon.